She said, "Suicide is a very selfish act!" The discussion following the news of a very close-to-home loss we suffered was revealing.
"No it's not." My response was as firm as her assertion. "The mind that entertains the option of suicide very likely believes that what they are doing is a 'gift' to those they are leaving behind." How did I know that?
As it turned out, the person we had lost sat at my desk just hours before ending his life; he was moving money around so his wife would not have trouble accessing it. Thoughtful. That was the man we knew. Not selfish. Thoughtful. Always thinking of others.
And yet, I had no indication, no clue of what he was about to do when he left me that day. And it made me mad. Mad because I knew, knew, that there were options, viable, life changing options; but I had no voice.
Since that day there have been too many more suicides, friends and family members with whom I mourned. Indeed, my own mind was a mess the night I lost a cousin. In the morning I railed at God, but even still, I had no voice and feared that more would be lost.
Now, I believe I have my voice, with no arrogant accompaniment. The reality does not escape me that I am also just one element away from being with those I mourn.
About Me
- Pam Knight
- Greetings! I am a wife, mother, sister and daughter, but mostly I am a creative and until the end of first quarter of the Year of Hindsight, that element of my being was living under the wet blanket of corporate America. I was dying in my day job. And so now I am a retiree x 2. Yep. I did this twice! So now I am doing what feeds my soul ~ exercising my creative nature, my body, my committment to 'one another' and my faith in the One who has taught me that EVERY -one and -thing has a second purpose in life. It is now time to explore this wonderful path! Hallelujah and Amen!